July 15, 2020

How to ask a guy out without sounding desperate

asking out a guy without sounding desperate
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This is something that everyone wants to ask and something that everyone wants to know. Asking out a guy for a date would probably be the most exciting things you’d have ever done and would want to make the most out of it.

List of things you should and shouldn’t be doing when asking a guy out on a date without sounding desperate:

  • Be confident and believe in yourself
  • Have healthy conversations and try getting to know his interests
  • Don’t be someone constantly pinging or texting
  • Complement him
  • Don’t be someone who is always available
  • Be prepared for all the negative responses and do not expect anything
  • Make him feel important
  • If things are going your way then don’t get too excited and spoil them
  • Have a good sense of humour
  • Maintain your own personal space
  • Don’t rush in and take your conversations further slowly
  • Asking him to gout for coffee or movie or it can be a Dinner date as well

Above mentioned is actually what I have experienced in my life. First, I actually wanted to go through the textbook approach for asking someone out but “Reality helps and Experience talks” so confidence helps a lot. So, you have a crush on someone and thinking a lot over how to approach, now you know what exactly has to be done!

Most of the situations like these scare you because of the risk factor that is involved in this. For example: If he’s a close friend, expressing feelings to your best friend might put a full stop to your friendship. Let’s see how to take a calculated risk and I will make sure by end of this article if you feel really strong for that particular person then you will take the risk.

Desperate means something else here

Desperate is such a word which has different meanings at different places. Means good at certain places and can hurt you bad at certain places. Like here in dating being desperate will only fetch you rejection or will only fetch you loss and nothing else.

It’s human psychology that if you start showing the other person that you need them badly then knowingly or unknowingly, they will only take you for granted. It automatically makes them feel that you are always there and your value reduces automatically.

So am not saying that there’s no got to express you would like to precise but the foremost important thing here is that you simply got to know where to express and how it should be done. Remember always timing is everything in dating, taking the right step at the right time is everything. Don’t get into your partner’s space and always let them speak, be a very good listener and things will never go complex that I can guarantee.

Understanding comes with listening when you listen you know what exactly your partner wants to say and things get easier that way for both of you. So just do what’s needed at the right time and the job’s done for you without even getting closer to desperateness.

Master the Risk-taking process

Now the question arises who’s that person whom you would like to ask out. Is he your friend? Is he just a stranger? And etc.

See basically again according to my personal life experience if you have a strong feeling for that guy and if you feel that you approaching the person will help you get a positive response from that particular person over this relationship thing then this risk is worth taking.

So, if he’s a friend whom you’re knowing has a crush and if trying already on someone else then just let it be and pray that he doesn’t get the one he likes and then you may go ahead and try, some people reading this will be thinking what kind of a friend am I if I am waiting for my friend’s crush to reject him? I would like to answer this, you are a practical one.

And yes, if you having a crush on a stranger then you know the drill, go out with confidence. Basically, what I meant is if you have a strong feeling for that one person then every risk is worth taking and if you just want to get laid or just want someone to spend money on you then go ahead girl there are thousands of guys out there waiting for someone just like you.

Now here in mostly all these situations what happens is people think of the consequences rather than implementing the stuff what they have planned. Let’s see how to tackle some of these.

Does considering the Consequences before Implementation affects the process?

The answer to this question is a big huge” YES”. Why do you want to be an astrologer and predict stuff, no that’s not your job? Here your job is to plan and implement & that’s all it’s really simple. Stop making it complex by overthinking about something that has never happened.

OKAY! Tell me what’s maximum that can go wrong, which is getting rejected, Yea sounds scary but that’s how the process goes right. You cannot force anyone to love you or get attached to you and why to expect anything, your job is to just keep thinking positive, smile and implement the approach process that you have planned and after that, if it has to happen it will. You are no one to be blamed if it’s a YES or a NO. It totally depends on the front person how He takes it.

Based on my real-life experience I would like you guys to know this, Rejections helps you develop, though it’s a very negative word. They help you develop qualities which are needed to become an attracting human in this whole living world, they help you to get the real you out; if you know what I mean.

Observe a lot!

Observing things in real life is also very important for dating. I know you will definitely be thinking this is irrelevant! Well!! let’s see how this is important.

No one’s perfect and I hope you agree with that and if you don’t then stop reading this right now because whatever I am writing after this will make no sense to you. Basically, you see a lot of people having habits or features which you wish you had them. Here you are not comparing yourself with them, its just that you are trying to grasp some amazing feature or some good habits which they have and which is a very good habit because you grow personally when you learn.

Observing is nothing complex, the habit that I explained above where you master from whatever you see so that noticing part is basically observing. Like for example, you see some person daily in college properly dressed up with shoes and a watch which makes him look like a gentleman and assume on the other hand you are wearing slippers. So if you wear shoes the next day with the passion that it’s a good habit which had to be taken from anyone and you did so you are a good observer.

There are some people who look at people having good habits and comment “Huh, what a showoff”. Dating always has a big NO for this kind of people and not only dating even the society rejects them. Am also not saying that you have to keep observing all the time because that will be weird, observing is something that you do by chance like you were walking somewhere and saw this person having a good speaking gesture and that’s all.

Trust me! Girls and guys in college like people having good observing skills. People get a crush on you looking at all this as your learning ability. Yes, boys and girls what I just said might sound little scripted but this is something that I observe daily and this is something that our current generation is dealing with. Am not denying the fact that looks don’t matter but along with looks all these qualities from which some I have mentioned above do matter as well.

So don’t worry if you don’t have any of the skills that I have mentioned in this article because whatever I have mentioned is something that you can develop, something that you can learn. So go ahead and learn and never get tired of this because this learning process goes on forever.

After reading all this, I am pretty sure you know how to tackle this huge huddle in your way which stops you from doing something that you like to do.

Still having confusion? Read this!

I personally like to connect with a reader when I write about something and that’s one of the biggest reasons, I write based on real-life incidents. Something that I have personally experienced. I understand situations likes these make you dumb basically because after reading 100 articles on asking out, you would still rather follow what you think other than what different writers are trying to express & I know you are nodding your head right now, reading this and that’s where you and I connect.

Doing what you think is absolutely right because you are the best person to make a right decision for yourself, you know what’s best for you and that is the reason if you would have noticed that whatever I have written above never tells you what to do? I basically wanted you to have practical thinking towards how to have an idea about different thoughts that come up in your mind when you have a crush on somebody.

So yes, that end’s it & I hope I could clear some of your queries regarding asking out. The reason I mentioned, “some of your queries” is that there is no one who can solve all your queries except you yourself. Go ahead, be practical and keep chit-chatting with yourself and I hope you get the right answers.

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