July 15, 2020

How to ask a friend out without ruining the friendship

ask a friend out without ruining the friendship
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So you’re in friendship with a person who is a good friend of yours and you like them a lot. I totally understand your concern, it feels such terrible to be in a situation like that and I would never want to lose the friendship no matter what happens.

I’ll make things clear as the very first moment, there are possible chances that the friendship between you guys will change after this conversation. This entirely depends on the person whom you’re talking to, the way they react to this and the way you handle it. There are no magical words which would help you out of this, it’s a human thing and needs to be treated the human way.

What you can say is: “Hey listen, I like your friendship a lot and would love to take this on to the next step and would like to take you on a date, would you be interested in that?

You have to be honest and plain of whatever you’re going to say. There is no need to refine things that are to be said, you just have to be truthful, have the willingness to take the risk and say whatever comes from your heart.

There is a lot to this conversation, so let’s dive right into it!

How will they react

After telling them how you feel, it’s time for them to reciprocate their feelings. Everyone is one of kind, you might get the response right away or they might take some time to respond; that entirely depends on the individual.

Let’s discuss the hard part first and then we’ll dive into the easy one:

If the reply is a No or they say “they never thought exactly about you”, don’t panic. It’s not that they don’t like you, it’s just that they had never felt the same as you and you need to appreciate their point of view as well. You have to keep things going as they were other than creating a scene.

 You better respond to them directly by saying ” I respect your opinion, I always had thought about this so I had to tell you. I would love to be just friends if you’re okay with it” where they would reply positively since you were so plain here and whatever you spoke was directly from your heart.

To continue being still good friends with them, you need to keep talking as if nothing happened here and make them feel like you don’t care much and you’re still the same.

I have friends who have been in such circumstances before and they’re still good friends. They accepted each of their point of view and just moved on! They are still good friends and spend a lot of time together, by looking at this you can say that their friendship isn’t ruined rather they’re even more good friends now.

I know you’re heartbroken and might even hate them for rejecting your proposal but that is not how you treat other’s point of view. Everyone in this world has their right to decide whether to accept or reject and you are in no control to decide that.

It is you who decides how things should go on from now. if you want to have a good friendship further, make sure you do not take any such decision that can break it up. Continue further as if nothing had happened, respect their view, talk to them as you did before and this will make your bonds stronger and you would be friends forever.

If the reply is a Yes, you would exactly be knowing what needs to be done; take them out somewhere where you guys would feel the most. A romantic place would be a great option where you people are all alone and can make the most out of it or plan for a movie or a dinner or even go for a ride.

Should you be willing to risk your friendship

Before even thinking of taking such a step, you have to ask yourself “Is it worth taking the risk?”. Some things may even go wrong afterwards so you need to be 100% sure. It’s not a random guy you have just met, it’s your friend who you have been around for a while now and risking your friendship wouldn’t be a good idea.

So should you be willing to risk your friendship?

It all depends on the situation where you want them so badly that you’re willing to risk the friendship? If you just cannot stop thinking about taking it further and you’re even okay with whatever happens later, then you’re good to go.

It’s more suitable to take the risk here as even if they say no it’s still better than being stuck in the situation that you’re in right now. So you need to take a big step forward and decide what to do and what not? If you’re willing to risk, then you have to be sure that things might not go as you’re expecting and you need to be prepared for it.

I would pressurize you to think about it again and again as it might or might not be the best thing to do right now depending on your situation. If you’re in the type of situation as explained above then I would urge you to go for it. In life, you need to be willing to take risks to achieve something, you might not achieve anything if you don’t risk it.

What if everything goes wrong

There might be a possibility that things didn’t go well after the conversation you had, and you were not able to handle the situation appropriately. Now they aren’t talking to you as much, and things aren’t going as intended; slightly everything got messed up here.

The long back and forth conversations between you have reduced to an extent, and most of the times, they avoid your text. I know this can be frustrating moreover leaves you confused as you weren’t expecting this. It’s not that you have actually done something wrong, this was something you had to do and was your best move.

Now, you don’t have to evaluate the decisions you made in the past, rather Live in the present. You have to be the same guy you were when things were at a better place and need not change at any cost. You will see that time will heal this and it will eventually be able to go back to how it was before if you don’t just change your behaviour from what it was before.

What if things go your way

As you guys were sharing a different relation now from what you guys were sharing before, never ever judge them on basis of what they were before because let it be anyone, everyone has a different behaviour when they are your best friend compared to when they are in love with you.

Judging will always make things worse between you both because you need to adapt to the changes in your partner.

Don’t get too excited either like don’t take your partner for granted. The reason why am saying this is that here the case is actually a bit different, you might tend to take certain things for granted because you know your partner really well.

So keep it simple to start a new journey with your best friend as a partner and trust me everything will go well, of course, fights will happen but you just be a good listener and understand them and the job’s done, things will go your way a little smoother.

Conclusion

So ya here it is; if you feel for your best friend, then go ahead and ask them out. Yes and be ready for the rejection too because sometimes you get so close to your best friend that they can never imagine you as their partner, so don’t be depressed and try holding back your friendship relation back and I’m sure they will understand, that’s why they are your best friend.

And yes don’t be too excited if the thing’s to go your way as I mentioned, just keep it simple and start a new journey as a responsible and matured partner.

“Keep your calm and patience, trust the process”

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