July 15, 2020

11 Couple Goals We Actually Need in Our Relationships

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Relationship goals are more than just wearing the matching shirts or shoes. It encompasses support, love and affection for each other in times and situations when the world gives up. It includes giving up your ego and putting the relation first. Keeping the relation as first priority and incorporating it in many aspects is necessary.

Relationship goals are more about putting effort to grow together, to become the best versions of them, to achieve individual goals and team goals together, to be happy and peaceful together.

We all need to show small gestures that are regular and have a stronger impact than big gestures done after ages. The purpose is to make your significant other feel loved and cherished. It can be a merry act of giving a rose or a chocolate.

Love demands care and attention. Regardless of your busy schedule, a certain amount of time needs to be taken out for your loved one where it’s just you both and no other interference, so that the other person feels important and heard.

Anyhow, below you can find some lessons and advices, some regrets and remorse, some acknowledgments and confessions—or maybe you’ll never find them even if you do read between the lines. You will, however, know what I will be talking about.

1. Depending on Each other

When you see people talking about how independent they want to be in life, laugh and tell them how they will be dependent on one person in their life, one day. No matter how much you deny, the fact about getting dependent on someone remains there. And let me tell you, it’s not a bad thing actually for as long as you aren’t dependent on him for feeding you and being your slave.

In life, despite your personal growth and workaholic life, you are dependent and you need to be with someone to pass through this life or make it a bit easier. You both must hold onto each other as the focal point of your life.

2. Fixing the harm

There are many couples who say, “We never fight.” Or “We don’t have misunderstandings.” They are those relationships that have the most hidden misunderstandings, mostly because of the communication gap. When a couple fights, one of them have to be the bigger man and fix everything and make it right, which means communicate for as long as things aren’t fixed, don’t walk away and let the self-doubt win.

The best and mature couples are those who sense even the smallest problem and discuss it right away with their partner instead of involving the third person.

3. Being there for them

Friends and family are always there for you, no doubt. But when you commit yourself with someone else, you expect to put them in a list of people who will always be there for you too. The most significant component of this association time is that you are completely present for one another.

In any sort of distress you need to be there with them to make them feel better. Take it as responsibility but mostly all of this is done out of love. There are many ways to bring a smile on their face; listen to their heart, listen to their words between the lines. Help them in any way possible.

In success, be the first one to lift them up and ask for the treat. Their success is your success. In happiness, be genuinely happy.

4. Do’s and don’ts of the cultural norms and values

When we live with someone, we quietly form a culture of do’s and don’ts. We build a small civilization where we unconsciously set the norms and values. The customs that we follow become rules within no time.

For example, you might have this untold, unofficial [but still] rule of: I will do the dishes, you will do grocery.

Where is it written and when? Where was it signed and when?

When this negotiation deal was sealed? Simply nowhere, perhaps!

Big nuisances can be delivered from such hanging papers of constitutions in the air. Sometimes, your partner might not like them. They might even hate them. Resentment and grudge can foster.

In order to eliminate the risk of such a troublesome situation, where no road leads the town of nowhere, one must ask politely beforehand if there is something wrong or undesirable so that the unsaid deal can be re-negotiated.

Having such negotiations with the availability of clear caveats help the relationship to be inclined more towards fidelity.

In the absence of such deals, resentment and hatred can grow together they find great loopholes in fidelity. Or in other words: Disloyalty sweeps into the world of loyalty with the warrants of resentment. There never was a cure found to disloyalty other than the divorce of the loyal and the disloyal.

Hence, the un-negotiated land bears the fruit of resentment and disloyalty burns the whole beautiful pastures of fidelity.

5. Control irrational behaviors

To live with someone other than you takes a lot of discipline. We all have these moments where we feel we are filled to the brink. Hence, next comes the irrational response of our biology because limitations were crossed.

For example? You might burst the loaded gun of your anger and start shooting without pointing or controlled and careful aiming. In such cases, the unwanted and most vulnerable places of the person standing on the other side of the gun receive these deadly shots. They get bruised like hell. Your heavens cannot cure them. Wounds are wounds; they find their salt from the air and irritate more.

Before using all the bullets, make sure your aim is not such so that the bullets may remain stuck inside their minds forever.

Hence we need to discipline our irrational behaviors. We need to practice patience. We need to learn how to practice. We need to be tolerant not just in our imagination but also when the push comes to shove; we don’t fire without even warning shots.

This means to have control on you. This can be best embodied in the practice of controlling your first natural, irrational and hurtful response to your spouse. Always remember why are you practicing this? You are practicing this because from your hurtful shooting your spouse might never be able to recover! This meditation can be summed up in the phrase: Snoozing Your Anger.

Snoozing anger means every time you feel the urge to say something very bruising and shameful, refrain!

Take a pause to reflect. Deep down we all know this is only our anger working. And the paradox of anger is that it never works. Simply, say nothing when inflated with burgeoning anger. You know this will pass, even your pets know that. Instead of being driven by the desire to execute a melodramatic scene, try to be sagacious and mindful.

Wisdom lies in not being overwhelmed by the impulse of anger. This impulse will pass. That’s the definition of impulse. You can always reply and respond to your spouse when this acidic wave of anger has passed. Try to speak when the horizons of sanity are clear and not hazed with the toxic urges of humankind.

Hence: Snooze off the ugly noise of the anger alarm.

6. Leave the past behind

Crimes. Murders. And Suicide.

When you commit, you don’t only agree to write something on a new page of life. Pages from the past cannot be torn off. Histories have the tendency to show up again. Monsters from the closet sneak on from time to time. Memories hold their niche in the places of minds even if the brain gets Alzheimer’s. They hone in and turn up, even if only sometimes.

Your partner is no angel. We all make mistakes from time to time. You are not an angel by any means whatsoever. When your sh does something wrong, try to help them. Kindness acts like an eraser in real time. Be kind. This will help create an environment where a healthy relationship will grow and grip the ground.

In the moment of a mistake being done, try to see the bigger picture. Do you want to say things like I told you so? And having said it gone to bed or acted like no one ever existed beside you? Perhaps even they have ignored your many terrible mistakes.

Try to be the net that catches people when they fall from the building when it catches fire. Save your loved ones. Be someone who is there to hold in the emergency when everyone is shooting the breeze.

Don’t commit the crimes of being an accomplice with the greedy nature of being the only one who is innocent. That’s no innocence at all. Try to take the burden even if it is not yours. Maybe, they will also put their shoulders to the wheel when you are dumb enough to make a mistake.

Don’t murder your spouse. This may actually sound funny, but it’s no laughing matter. You can kill your spouse quite easily. In fact, a lot of people do that. And it is not like taking knife and stabbing someone, like your spouse. No, not at all. It means you kill all the opportunities that can open the paths to your spouse building his or her proclivities in this life. Stopping them from getting progressive, like or unlike you, restriction perhaps is the right word.

Let them grow for god’s sake. Don’t murder anyone like that, you might get away with it, but your life will receive a huge question mark, even posthumously. Now, try to laugh if you can. I bet if you are a serious person you will feel the effect perpetuated toward you.

Don’t commit suicide. It is just like the murder; although a self-murder. Don’t block your own proclivities by not providing them with rigor and positivity. You will also bring your partner down by doing that. You are not only you if you are in a relationship; you are a couple, a family now. You are responsible for what you do.

Just like you take the effect of anything received from your spouse, you also send these waves of effects generated from your doings. It is back and forth. Don’t complain when you receive a little shock wave from time to time, but avoid sending them. Ameliorate the suffering of living by having a meaningful relationship.

7. Embrace each other’s vulnerability

The capacity to securely be open to each other can fortify the bond among you and encourage a more profound love and closeness than you suspected conceivable. Treat their vulnerability with pride; ask them if they need anything when you are caught in fight or distress.

Be willing to expose your feelings, to acknowledge them and accept them, It’s a big part of strengthening of relationships; to communicate how you feel so express them exactly the way you think so there are no misunderstandings.

8. Invest in your Relationship

There was a phase I was going through, where I didn’t know what I was feeling but I was constantly seeing myself in a dark tunnel of life and my partner could see it and feel it, so he took me to an amazing trip with friends and made me feel special and told me that it’s okay to feel this way.

What I’m trying to say is that when the day went by I was not only okay but I felt strengthened and blessed. We see people being busy and not able to give time, we see people can’t afford to take other person on a date. I say, you can. You can do so much out of love and not feeling burdened.

So invest anything in your relationship and if it’s with the right person, it will renew your relationship and the honeymoon phase will be back on.

9. Being Supportive

Aren’t we all trying to achieve goals in life? In relationship despite caring how big or small the goals are you should encourage them to achieve for as far it’s making them happy, help them lift up when they get paralyzed by obstacles and failure.

I understand there are people who have good intentions but they tend to do things in a wrong way like controlling your loved ones. That a big no, you shouldn’t be controlling, instead you need to be more supportive and let them go on their pace, even if they give up at some stage, in most of the cases let them do it. Why? Because that will help them more by understanding it themselves why they shouldn’t have gave up and give a fresh start to things and achieve even more bigger things.

Be happy, be in the front row to cheer and lift them and tell them how proud and happy you are.

10. Give meaningful gifts

Keeping a diary together and making it a protected spot to speak the truth about what you’re thinking and feeling can move you both nearer together and empower you to help each other work through close to home difficulties.

If you are an artist make a journal where you can sketch all the memories. If you are a song writer, write and sing a song for them, and I’m pretty sure you don’t need a good voice for this. If they are obsessed about something, gift them the collections and other relatable things.

We all do that and love to do that just to see a smile on their face.

11. Achieve goals together

People make memes on this that when you bump into a good relationship you gain weight. I tell ya’ they aren’t wrong. You become two fat people trying to make each other happy by going out having pizza and KFC every week. It even gets hard to go to gym and lose all that fat all alone, so why not challenge each other in who is going to lose weight faster. That’s one way to push each other.

When you are trying to achieve goals, as I said earlier the encouragement and support leads to success and this factor isn’t baseless, its science baked fact that your partner can achieve many goals just by knowing that fact that there is someone to support them.

Conclusion:

Having an objective to progress in the direction of can improve the nature of your relationship, regardless of whether your relationship is unshakable. Attempt the instruments referenced above to grow a considerably more profound relationship with your partner, and venture out an additionally satisfying relationship today.

Put forth an attempt to show gratefulness for the things your partner accomplishes for you. It’s anything but difficult to simply generally expect the little demonstrations of thoughtfulness they accomplish for you, however it’s constantly pleasant to tell your partner that you are appreciative for the things they accomplish for you.

Your own psychological well-being and how you by and by feel will majorly affect your relationship. Set aside some effort to truly concentrate on yourself-what triggers you, how you respond to specific circumstances, and so on.- to build up the instruments and abilities you have to have a solid and prosperous relationship.

Nicole Tolstoy

Nicole Tolstoy is a content marketing writer, freelancer and a model. She also does scriptwriting for film producers and joined numerous film competitions. Nicole says " To love and be loved is happiness "

View all posts by Nicole Tolstoy →

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