When you commit to someone, you are being chosen from billions of people to either be the best thing ever happened or the worst. But we all need to understand that nobody is perfect and all comes with the pack of flaws that they have to accept and live with.
Relationships with your loved one is one of the hardest yet beautiful things you invest your time and everything on, for some people it turned out to be the best and for some it turns out to be a traumatizing end. So you’ll find it written everywhere that it’s not easy to be in a serious relationship. It takes patience, care, wise decisions, self-control and loads of compromising.
In a relationship, either girl or the guy act childish to be loved and treated with care but that doesn’t mean they lose all their senses to be around other people. It just means they like to seek attention from specially you. You’ll see mostly girl being the childish one even when you are playing Fifa she will do things to tease you or to get attention and that are the most crucial times when you have to keep that in mind that she is doing on purpose and you can take revenge later but not at the moment because she will curse you.
Therefore, such things leads to sad annoyed girlfriend and you don’t want that because that part is hard to cure. So this was just one example to tell you how complex things are, there are some easy things you can avoid doing. But trust me; if you truly love her, these things are the easiest to deal with.
1. Lying to her
Lying is the first negative thing about a relationship. Lying about small stuff is not cool, as they say it leads to even bigger lies and you won’t even remember what you told them. Lying about being out with your friends or lying about meeting another girl even if it is for work, lying about problems you are facing all ends up to be known as cheating. So don’t lie even if it’s something she can’t understand, make her understand. Take time to bring her on the same page.
As we all know relationships are built on trust and honesty but it is also built from a great companionship and the most important factor of communication gap. Keep it simple and stay away from trouble because that’s the last thing we would want in addition to other life problems.
2. Ignoring her feelings
Your girlfriend is your best friend and your best friend is your family right? Treat her like one too. If your sister is depress, in her bed for days crying about something, you would want to be there for her tell her everything is okay. In the same way your girlfriend’s feelings are no less do the best you can to make her feel better, tell her all the good things, listen her rants, listen her through the words what she is feeling or trying to say.
If you got the superpower to hack this, you are awesome and lucky.
Even if we talk about fights you have in between each other, listen to her rather than being irrational. Respect her thoughts, make her understand where she is right or wrong and be careful when dealing with this, never dismiss or disregard her feelings as being irrational. Having love work takes two, so make sure her voice is always heard.
3. Don’t be the reason for her overwhelming distress
A true man never hurts his girl, physically, mentally or emotionally. Because they understand how important a girl in anyone life can be. You don’t have a choice but to be patient with her if she makes any mistake and deal it by communicating rather than shouting.
As Cody Cornell says in his song,
“All she needs is a man who’ll respect her
She’s had bad luck with men
Please don’t break her heart
She only needs a little love”
Degrading factor comes in hurting her, it is a cruel act committed by many people and often they do it subconsciously or without being aware of it. It can discourage her for things she is excited about or damage her self-esteem so always be careful with your words.
4. Being selfish
When you make a promise, fulfill it. It doesn’t matter you made that promise just for that moment, it doesn’t matter you are not in a mood to do it. Promise means Promise. If you can’t keep it don’t try to end up disappointing her. It simply shows how immature you are and how much you lack the accountability to be responsible.
When you are committed to someone for a long term you go through many events of life, many ups and downs where you have to make the compromises. If she needs a ride back home, tell her you’ll be there. If she needs something that she forgot to bring, try delivering her that. Because she comes to you when she needs someone that means that she is expecting a little help from your side.
Sacrificing few things just to bring a smile on her face is the best and noticeable thing you can do for. And always remember, do it for love, not to expect the same thing in return.
5. Treating her like your Plan B
When you are in love and when you plan to spend rest of your life with her, the factor of replacing her wouldn’t even touch your mind naturally. You’ll be scared to even think about it.
But some people are dating for fun even then you shouldn’t make her feel like she is a choice. Her value is same as yours. For example you are serious with her but she is unable to give you time in between jobs and responsibilities, you end up talking to other girls to fill the void. Would that be fair to her? No, right? So never make her feel like a choice when she makes you feel like you are her whole world.
6. Making her feel dumb
If you don’t take your girlfriend seriously, you might want to justify why you’re in the first place in a relationship. Take her suggestions about things; ask her about what you should do. And if she isn’t mature enough to deal with things, help her grow. Never be horrible enough to make fun of her, because we all are growing and growing takes patience. So if you love her you know what you got to do. Appreciate her when she is trying hard to think things through.
7. Spying on her
Saying I love you isn’t always enough. It requires loads of trust and communication to be on a nicer level of relationship. We all prefer not to remain with someone you don’t have confidence in, right? You have to quit feeling that your partner is lying or undermining you in light of the fact that in your past relationships you have encountered doing the same thing. So you’ll both have genuine feelings of serenity, make an arrangement that you’ll quit posing malignant inquiries or offering suspicious remarks about your partners whereabouts and who you’re with when you’re not along.
Keeping a check on her and keeping an eye on her are two different things. So basically don’t keep an eye on her by invading her privacy like exchanging passwords or checking her cellphone in her absence. Regardless of you are committed to her doesn’t give you the right to own her in that way. On the off chance that you need to improve your relationship certainty, attempt to do as such which can prevent you from being suspicious about the honesty of your partner. This will bring about a relationship that is progressively helpful.
8. Bringing her past
We’ve all done it got up to speed in a relationship conflict and detecting we are losing; we go for the murder by getting another comparative “wrongdoing” she has submitted previously. On the off chance that we are disturbed they didn’t compliment up on an ongoing success grinding away, we raise a period a year back they didn’t appear to think about advancement and make it a huge issue traversing the whole relationship.
We all fight in relationships, some just end over millions of misunderstandings. Everything is very normal but when you are in a relationship with her, you need to stop bringing it up every time she does something wrong that will be very immature of you and your relationship won’t move forward. So don’t try to keep records of her mistakes, there are many type of mistakes that are hard to forget but at certain level of confidence you have in her can heal things with time. Am I right? Or am I right?
9. Trying to change her
If you find a women with a wild heart, don’t try to tame her, you don’t know what she has been through or what she was going through but if she chose you to be a part of her life, help her achieve things she want to rather than things you want to, do not get in her way, do not try to change the path she has chosenfor herself. Nobody is perfect enough to meet your “how-your-dream-girl-should-be”.
Encouraging your partner to grow up out of their unfortunate propensities is an alternate thing from pushing her to improve her character. It is unjustifiable in case you’re forcing your young lady to be somebody she’s not simply fitting into your reality. Cherishing someone not for what that are yet for what their identity is. Permit yourself to communicate openly when you are as one. You must be dedicated to each other and to yourself.
10. Suggesting breakup of all misunderstandings
A relationship can only work if it’s about mutual responsibility instead of blaming each other for the wrong doings. You don’t want anyone to feel bad and end up in endless conflict. Yes, communicate, see things through, who went wrong where and make her or yourself understand where things went wrong.
Never request breakup on the off chance that you don’t mean it that way. On the off chance that you truly love your partner and you can’t stand to lose her then since you’re distraught, don’t say a final farewell to her. What of it? You’d call and apologize the following day, and get back together? At the point when you continue doing this each battle, it would come as when it is hard to recover her since she is as of now worn out.
11. Physical Intimacy Reactants
Engaging in physical intimacy is amazing; saving yourself for someone special is beautiful. But hey, even if you know she is the one, don’t rush into being physical with her because you can be wrong about your own feelings and all this will end up in a big dilemma for the girl. Respect her ways and timings for this too. Be careful about this because every girl dreams about saving herself for someone special. She needs to feel special and right about all this and so do you.
12. The gravitational pull of Betrayal
In between the edifices of lies and half-truths, you will find the infesting colonies where betrayal lives. It’s very easy to slip on the slopes of these buildings. And Jesus Christ, betrayal is the hell of the hell.
What happens is, you tell a lie and then you try your damn best to keep it a secret. Bloody well hell is the world of secrets. You keep a door close in your heart and the wind of conscience starts knocking at this door, almost immediately. It creaks, you bleed inside. You feel the density of all the turmoil which turns up and flare you to the core of your existence. And damn, everything becomes a burden already. Everything becomes pungent.
That’s the first boundary of betrayal that you cross. So, recognize this as soon as possible because deeper hell is still ensued. And Jesus Christ the only salvation is not in going there. Never trudge these paths of dishonesty, the chances of you coming out of this without bruises are almost zero.
Remember Your Mortality and Ephemerality of Everything
Take a seat in your couch and really read this.
Think about the year you were born. Now add 70 or 80 into that number. The result is probably your last year on this planet earth. Limited time on an un-chosen one time offer! What a great deal from the consequences of billions of evolution processes at work
Your time is limited. In fact, you are dying since you were born. Every other breath is a step forward demise. The question then becomes what do you want to do in life? How, in fact, do one should live it?
While the yeses of these questions are variant and diverse the noes are pretty binary. For example, you shouldn’t waste your life away!
So ask yourself this: do you really want to bicker with your wife or husband? What should steer the course of our relationships given the fact that we are only having a short time here in this ship cruising into the vast and gigantic sea of cosmos?
None of the bickering would make sense, I bet if you realize the ephemerality of our situation, good or bad, you will agree. None of the wasteful occupations would make sense if the actuality of our mortality is kept in our active memories; the wasteful occupations of having a relationship that cost your existence everything that might make you or someone happy.
Existence is sacred. Time is the most precious and all-time high currency of life. The only currency. Even that only currency is untradeable. No bartering in this domain.
The little time you have to spend with your partner, the little world that two of you can create, a small society that can foster around you being a couple, a beautiful civilization that you can enjoy in having each other, is also untradeable. It can be lost easily if you don’t care. It can last longer and become stronger if you want.
Love is a gaze frozen in time at what you care about. When you look at him or her, realize the affection, realize the importance. Recognize the value of your relationship, of your spouse, you will not get any other like him or her even if you go search the whole world.
Make things right
It takes perseverance, patience and experience to make a relationship work. No partner or partnership is perfect but what you have can last a lifetime with your joint effort. For your friendship, it’s not too late. You both should be able to let go of the baggage which keeps your relationship heavy. Instead, be willing to correct problems by doing the right things.
People don’t expect you to be as good as the guys they see in the romantic soap operas, but taking advice from those role models never hurts. Life is not a fairytale and not every guy is a Prince who will whisk you off, but if there is one thing that’s certain is that the world needs more faithful gentlemen, and if you follow these tips, you can be one of them.
Allow each other to grow in other areas of your life. Both of you need to understand that you have other priorities and you cannot be together all the time. If you are together almost 24/7, you miss other important things in life like memorable moments with families and friends or even career opportunities. Your relationship secludes you from the rest of the world, and that is not healthy.